Monday, March 25, 2013

Numbers Do A Thing

Students in Dr. Korniss's Thermodynamics and Statistical Mechanics class have made an overwhelming discovery that, when arranged a certain way, numbers do a thing.

The realization came to several students while discussing Botlzmann and Maxwell-Boltzmann Distributions during lecture, while others are reporting similar revelations during discussions on the Theory of Paramagnetism. Currently no students are reporting an understanding of the numbers, their meaning, or what they do.

Many students involved in the discovery are now postulating that perhaps there could be many more numbers which also do things, though this theory still remains to be proven.

The lecture, which meets for two hours every Tuesday and Friday at 8:00am, focuses on topics including Kinetic Gas Theory, Specific Heat of Diatomic Molecules, and Phonon Gas. When asked to comment on any of these, many students simply began crying.

"What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK?" responded James Jameson, 20, when asked his opinion on Magnetic Phase Transitions.

Rensselaer Administration has announced plans to devote $14 million toward research on the newly discovered capabilities of numbers, their applications, and their potential use in science things. As reward for their discovery, the students involved will be allowed to pay an additional $2,300 in tuition, a stipend which the university has dubbed "fucking generous" and "do something about it".

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